Doing It Afraid Just Because

I want y'all to know, immediately after publishing my first post I became nervous. I began to realize that I am giving other people permission to perceive me, and that I have no control over the perception... yea, terrifying. I am in a period in my life where I experience this often. I have no choice but to go for it anyways because this is my life, and I gotta just exist. Living in fear is true bondage.

How do I get over this you may ask?

I am literally just choosing to do the scary thing anyway. I don't like doing things afraid, but I don't like being in fear more. I mean it's serious, I refuse to even watch scary movies. So my logic is, if I choose not to watch things that would make me shit myself, why choose to be afraid of the things I really wanna do? And I think we all have to ask ourselves this more.

I have a piece written on my Substack account about what it means to be in "flow" (another shameless plug lol). When moving through life in flow, you don't have time to react to the fear you feel. Once you choose fear, you've now disregarded flow to obtain a false sense control, or what therapists like to call "survival mode". I don't know about you, but I don't plan to live my life surviving every little thing. I was born to thrive.

Although it is quite the challenge, I make the choice everyday to do something afraid. I am meant to enjoy this world and no ounce of fear will keep me bound. It is definitely easier said than done, but the only way out is through. I can't lie, I do still hope I am being positively perceived, of course. But, I also choose to put all that energy that could be spent worrying about that into just enjoying that I've found a new and cool hobby.

Here's that Substack link btw hehe: https://substack.com/@xviiira/p-168792937

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